Life is not easy, we all learn this at one point in our lives, a lot of us know this now, but that's just the thing, although terrible things happen or may happen, we can't let it get to us, even when all may seem lost and darkness washes over us like a wave of some strange despair,
do not fall into the shadows, or succumb to ultimate darkness, for whether it is clear or not, there is light even in the darkest of places, sometimes, we just have to open our eyes and see it. We are not doomed to a fate of chance, everything and all things, good and bad, happen for a reason, it's up to us to determine whether or not to allow this to make us stronger or let it tear us apart.
For sad, it remains true, we live in a fallen and broken world, however, it is our own choice to see the beauty in any situation or to fall into the fire and let the bitterness of life burn us away.
You really have courage to not give up, it's really hard with dealing with depression, especially without anyone to help you. So you have my respect and I wish you the best so that you'll never give up.